I'm sad to say it's been a heart breaking week for me...
It has been reestablished that I'm still suffering from the same
illness I received in Kyoto back in January... Don't bother asking
how, because I don't know.
From that time, I felt much better than I did before. But during the
time from when I "got better" until now, I've always felt these
symptoms off and on, realizing now that I never felt 100% that entire
time. I always brushed them off, thinking "oh it's just a hot day" or
something like that. "I'll be better tomorrow." The beginning of this
transfer, basically when coming to Shingu, is when these symptoms
started appearing more frequent, and stronger. ESPECIALLY these past
few weeks. The bad nausea, the headaches, the drained energy after
walking up a small flight of stairs, the stomach pains, the struggle
to eat, all of it, all back, all taking me out pretty hard. It's to
the point where I am feeling as if I just barely got sick again...
I've already lost about 10 lbs and have been the thinnest I've been in
a long time. Don't know what it was that held me up during that period
of time before, but I'm longing for whatever it was, because
this...this really sucks to say the least.
My beloved friend, Elder Grossen, is still sick as well, despite him
having returned home already and visiting doctors. It's an ongoing
mystery that I wish I could turn off like a light switch. Received a
CT scan, this last week to check it out, and nothing. "Here's some
medicine, now go home, sleep more, eat more, and try and do stuff and
you'll be better." It's what I heard all throughout my time in Kyoto
from the doctors, and it's even being said way out here in the middle
of nowhere. I've tried that already man. Elder Grossen, it's okay to
laugh, I know you're trying to hold it in.
I don't have much else to say, the week was a hard one trying to not
throw up and just simply feel good. I guess on the bright side, it's
given me some time to throw myself into the scriptures. (Even though
it's so hard to focus ha...) I felt I was handling this situation well
before, but I feel much better about it I guess you could say.
Actually, more comforted, is a better word. I don't necessarily have
the faith that I'm going to instantly get better, but more rather,
that everything will be alright. Everything will just be okay. I can't
predict the future, but this much I know, that God loves me, and that
I can still do what I can in my abilities. As long as I do my part, I
know he will do the rest. For all things are done in the wisdom of
Him, whom knoweth all things.
In a spiritual sense, I'm doing okay. I'm looking forward with a
brightness of hope, and will accept what is thrown my way, curve balls
and all. I'm doing what is in my abilities. Your prayers are much
needed. I could use it. I'm thankful for my companion being a good
sport. I love him a lot. I know it seems like I have been doing fine
in past weeks, but like I said, I've felt it off and on, and it's
back. Don't know why, but looking forward with optimism.
I love you all very much, I hope you all always remember that.